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Really, it is. She loved you, we all did. You had your own life to live here, Tadpole, and we had our own things happening in New York. And I knew I should let her go. I swallowed, and her eyes fell to my throat before they glanced at my lips, sending a familiar zing of warning through me. But it was a new warning, too. My hands at the small of her back tightened, and my eyes watched hers, both of our smiles fading. I wanted to ask her if she was okay, if she was happy, if Cameron was what she wanted. But I had no right to ask any of those things.

Still, I held her. Charlie watched my lips, like she was willing me to say something. I did, too. She spun, looking up at me with flushed cheeks. Slowly, she loosened it, letting me take the porcelain from her grasp. I followed behind her, pausing at the front door as she made her way to the open car door waiting for her.

His hand slid up the outside of her coat, up her slender neck to frame her face, and then he bent to kiss her. When their lips connected, I looked away, down at the half-empty coffee cup in my hands, still stained with her pink lipstick. Join an old man for a cigar? She was looking up at Cameron like that kiss had brought her back to life, like he was the only man she ever wanted, and I had to remind myself that he was.

Cameron was her husband. I was the boy who used to live next door. The sooner I got that through my head, the better. Charlie slipped inside the car, and Cameron closed the door softly behind her, waving goodbye to all of us on the porch one last time. He watched me the longest, his brows low, and I knew that look in his eyes. He was threatened, and he was warning me. My eyes flicked to the window Charlie sat behind, but it was too tinted to see her through it. She was there, she was close, yet she was invisible.

She was untouchable. She was no different behind the barrier of that car door than she was to me in real life, and I needed to remember that. With that realization, I tore my gaze away and followed her father into his study. View all 8 comments. May 02, KAS rated it it was amazing. Stars Talk about three tortured souls who tormented the living daylights out of me! Within the first 35 pages, my battle lines were drawn. I had picked sides. By the time I got to the end, my thoughts and loyalties shifted all over the place. The clear lines I drew started looking a bit ragged, a bit beaten up.

Yes, my battle li 4. Yes, my battle lines were breached! The writing is superb my first Kandi Steiner read , the storyline is attention grabbing, and the characters It is fabulous! Yes, of course, I went in blind, and once again, encourage you to do the same! I feel like a broken record, but honestly the least you know, the yummier the View all 56 comments.

Mar 08, Angie - Angie's Dreamy Reads rated it it was amazing. I loved her, anyway. Heart wrenching. I went into it knowing my heart was going to bleed, knowing I would be left raw, teetering at the edge of a cliff and needless to say, both those things happened in spades. Now, I feel so fucked up, so destroyed and consumed and giddy and elated.

I obsessed over every detail. This story was an adrenaline rush, a gut punch that began with a powerful prologue and ended with a jaw-dropping cliffhanger! And it damn well delivered. Steiner holds nothing back when it comes to angst! Charlie our heroine holds secrets in her lifeless eyes that compels the reader to pay attention. At one point this married couple was blissfully happy and full of life and possibility.

Then you meet Reese and see that he and Charlie go way back, all the way to childhood. I almost wanted to look ahead to see what would happen next I was so buzzed over this trio of characters. I lived for the feels, was entrenched by them. One minute I raged, the next I cried, and then I felt guilty for getting angry and upset. Charlie is a lovable character who breaks your heart.

What He Always Knew

This is a tale of sticky boundaries and blurred lines. A story of broken hearts and mistakes. A book of black and white and grey areas in life. They do things that might not seem right to you but feel right to them. Most times the road to happiness is paved with stones from hell.

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I believe that. Always have. Overall, the first part of this duet slayed me. I am overwhelmed with emotion for it. I went into it this untainted by opinion and I came out of it absolutely spellbound and desperate for more! It is without a doubt a top recommendation. And I really hope you take a chance on this masterpiece. View all 9 comments. Mar 08, Paige rated it it was amazing Shelves: cliffhanger , favorites , suspense , arcs , emotion-overload , erotic , part-of-a-series , what-a-twist , romance , second-chaces.

My heart is racing. My mind is spinning. But THIS is how you write a love triangle. Just go in. Trust that you will get the story of a lifetime. Or maybe you will. Truly for me there was no bad guy. This was a heartbreaking, heart pounding story that I will not forget and that I am seriously anxious to know what happens next. I voluntarily read an ARC of this book. A is for Alpha B is for Books. View all 14 comments. On one hand, the book brought out many emotions for me. On the other hand, the heroine, Charlie was weak.

I can't stand weak heroines. I need my girls to have a sense of self worth and not let people walk all over them. Charlie is married to Cameron - love the name BTW - and they have one very serious topic hanging over their marriage from 5 years ago and the never talked about it. I'm sorry, I couldn't grasp that. For 5 fucking years no one talks about the loss they suffered. Get the fuck out of here! How does that even happen. She didn't force the issue. She ignored it. Shit, Cameron did too.

I am very selective when it comes to her books for that reason. I'll post my complete review on book 2. View all 4 comments. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Steiner has, rather skillfully, written a drama featuring a young couple's immeasurable and infinitely tragic lack of communication that unsurprisingly resulted in their failure to achieve closure and resolution of mixed emotions, the least of which were Cameron's and Charlie's grief, pain, and misery over the death of their babies.

Five years have elapsed wherein Cameron and Charlie have existed in a bubble without addressing and r Do. Five years have elapsed wherein Cameron and Charlie have existed in a bubble without addressing and resolving their feelings and their consequential, residual problems that grew and became so enmeshed inside of Charlie that Cameron didn't know how to help her. Naturally, as a man, he dealt with feelings and emotions clinically -- I think he thought they'd wear down or disappear, which is how most of the men I know would have handled it.

The way I see it, Charlie's a grown ass, modern day woman who had a mouth to ask for whatever she needed. Yet, her method was to sit and wait for Cameron to save her, pamper her, do everything for her, which she had been spoiled into expecting. The writer has presented a natural tragedy that many couples have faced and dealt with, except her characters did NOT due to a breakdown in communication. She presented temptation for Charlie in the form of Reese, a long-ago acquaintance and missed opportunity before Charlie even knew Cameron.

Steiner's characters are flawed, and make choices that are, to them, justified. What I cannot agree with are the romanticized, pro-adulterous and illogical reviews that gush about "poor Charlie and Reese," or rhapsodize how touching and sweet Reese is with Charlie. Are these readers not picking up on all the facts and details the author has provided them? What are these reviewers basing their five stars on? Are they celebrating the degenerate, unscrupulous and sneaky behavior of Reese, who, in his final chapter, admits Blake IS technically his girlfriend, because I don't know in what form or fashion that what he's done isn't cheating - he cheated on his girlfriend when he seduced Charlie into cheating on Cameron.

He had none for Cameron understandable since Cam's legally got rights to Charlie, whom Reese covets. The Bible states "Thou shalt not covet another man's wife. WHY does the responsibility for the lack of communication, distance, and his wife's misery fall only on him? He is but one man who had his own sadness and numbness as a result of their tragedy to deal with.

What gives Reese the right to be so selfish he can cheat on his girlfriend and cause Cam's wife to cheat, too? Is this book a realistic portrayal of true human nature? Maybe some of it; however, let's not glorify Reese's selfishness and complete lack of scruples in taking advantage of a woman starved for attention and romance, or her husband's failure to deal with his own pain.

The two need counseling, closure - how is an adulterous affair the answer? I found Charlie to be so insipid, so caught up in herself, and even more selfish than Reese. Yet, Cam loves her, and wants to fight for her. He saw something in her, had something with her, and married her once before, so she must have redeeming qualities I just didn't sense. Again, it's all in each reader's perception of what this writer has presented. I could barely stomach Reese as I found him to be a snake in the grass whom no one should turn their backs to; and Charlie left me with a bad aftertaste needing to be mouthwashed and touched up with spritz, bright paint and a makeover.

She came across as outdated, tired, extremely needy, and washed out. One star for unlikable characters and controversial choices by characters. View all 12 comments. I devoured it in one sitting and now I'm anxious waiting for the next book! My heart aching and I'm emotional! What He Doesn't Know is one of these stories that you need to go blind this way you are going to devour it! I don't want to give anything away you just need to know that this story was something else!

You are going to read it and think about it for days! Kandi's writing was flawless and her story amazing! I'm impressed, I have read some other books by her but this one is my favorite so far!! I don't usually like love triangles but this one was so perfect and the way Kandi Steiner handled everything was perfect that you don't mind.

Get ready for Charlie, Cameron and Reece to take you to an emotional roller coaster! I can't wait for the next book!! View all 7 comments. This is an emotional story about relationships; the good, the bad and the ugly. I love angsty books and this one is a prime example of angst done right. I hate cliffhangers but this book was so good I can look past that. PS: There is cheating in this book. View all 13 comments. View all 5 comments. Saunders Not read book 2 but I am sure he wins. Jul 07, AM. Anything angst, I gobble it up! I bought the book right away, there was only one problem: the second book wasn't out yet.

So, I sat on my ass and waited to start the first book until the second one was out. And I made it I made sure to 4 stars! I made sure to preorder the second book so it would hit my kindle at 9pm thank you PST and I wouldn't have to wait. Clearly I didn't think this through. What He Doesn't Know is about Charlie, a woman in a broken marriage who has lost herself. When a childhood friend and love Reese, returns to town and begins teaching at the same school she does, feelings are bound to blossom.

But Charlie is torn, because despite everything, she loves her husband. But Reese may be the only one to turn Charlie back into the woman she was. I thoroughly enjoyed this book, Kandi Steiner is an author I am always meaning to read more of. This book hit the spot perfectly in terms of reading mood and angst. I have my favorite guy, but I don't want to say anything because I am worried he will not be picked.

I desperately want to peek at the end of book 2 but also don't want to cheat, so we will see how long I'll last, shall we? Anyways, both books are out now, so if you are intrigued go ahead and one click. There's nothing to be scared of as they are both available and no waiting! That alone, should have sobered me. And yet, you do it anyway. Love triangles are messy, complicated, forbidden, and scandalous but you know what they say…the heart wants what it wants. The one bright spot in her life, is being a kindergarten teacher and having the ability to help and nurture these young kids.

Not only is Reed a familiar person to her, but he was one of her best childhood friends. They say time heals all wounds and true love never dies, but for Reed and Charlie, love will not be their problem this time. Time will.. I will say that I was warned before I even started this book that it was going to be emotional and messy and I was prepared for that.

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I loved that this author took her time in telling us the story and really going in depth into the shattering marriage of a couple who went through a lot. Did I have some issues with how the storyline played out? You bet I did! Now can we please talk about that ending?! I'm pretty good at guessing the outcome of most of the stories I read and I have to say… I did NOT see this one coming at all!!

I was under the impression I received a typo in my copy because what I read? Was a cause to run out and get a warranty on all of my devices. Fuck my life!! View all 20 comments. I knew from that moment I was going to feel all the emotions that this book would draw out of me, right down to my very core. There is a reason why I rate Kandi Steiner so highly as a writer and that is because her stories always own me from the very start.

She has such a beautiful way of telling a story. She articulates words so perfectly that you live every part of the story that is being depicted. This story was so full of emotion that I was bursting at the seams; it was heartbreaking, it was angsty and it was a wild and turbulent ride that made my heart race and left me breathless by the end. Charlie is living in utter despair; in complete turmoil within the four walls of a house she once called a home. Once upon a time it was a home filled with love, laughter and happiness, a distant memory now unfortunately.

Charlie is living in a loveless and lifeless marriage to a man, Cameron, who used to regard her with such kind and loving eyes, but now the only eyes she knows are cold. Things are about to get so much more complicated for Charlie when she discovers her childhood sweetheart, Reese, the first person who had ever owned her heart has returned to the town of Mount Lebanon, Pennsylvania.

Reese has just moved back to Mount Lebanon, Pennsylvania after having moved away fourteen years before. Reese and Charlie go way back and were not only next door neighbours, but were completely enamoured with each other, inseparable and in love. Now that Reese is back he plans to claim Charlie as his own once and for all.


Charlie is married right? What marriage? To me, these are the best kind of books, I love nothing more than to feel a whole range of emotions and be taken out of my comfort zone, it just adds to the anticipation and thrilling ride I am encountering. Knowing prior to reading, this was in fact a duet, I was going to have to deal with a heart-wrenching cliffhanger and boy was I right.

I have to mention if you are not a fan of love triangles or cheating, then you will probably not love this book, but seriously, it is so good it is well worth taking a risk on it. I wait with baited breath for book 2, because I need it……. I would highly recommend this story for all lovers of emotional, raw and angsty love stories that leave you positively breathless by the end. View all 16 comments. Mar 16, Jennifer Kyle rated it really liked it. Mar 07, Olga therebelreader rated it it was amazing Shelves: contemporary-romance , cheating , suspense-angst , highly-emotional , raw , kindle , arc-cc-final-review , forbidden-love , tears.

This book had my heart literally racing. I absolutely, unquestionably, wholeheartedly loved it! The writing is great, the flow is just perfect and the twist and turns are everything I need to keep from getting bored. I enjoyed the realness of this story because the feelings that the three parties transpired seemed real to me. This is a fabulous book about a husband and wife and their relationship. It is a mix of love, sorrow, lust, This book had my heart literally racing. It is a mix of love, sorrow, lust, deceit, heartbreak and my poor mind cannot take it anymore!

It's not lighthearted reading, it will actually make you think. And feel!! I don't want to say too much as it would be spoiled. I highly recommend it to everyone who isn't afraid of emotional, realistic, sexy books. I didn't want it to end. Can't wait for the conclusion! View all 10 comments. It all comes back to you in the end. She had me at A Love Letter to Whiskey and while this one is up there, I have to hold back until I read the last book in this duet.

But let me just tell you, this one is super angsty and little gems were popping up all over the place I loved that It's a heart breaking story and you can't help but feel for them. They haven't dealt with things and it's affected their marriage. Reese is an old family friend and he and Charlie had a crush on each other when they were younger but since he is five years older, he couldn't go there. Now, he's back and he knows what he wants but she's married. Life doesn't care and throws them together fairly often. Reese tries to be a good guy but he's only human.

For those of you who are wondering if there is cheating Cameron is a good guy and I. There I said it. Luckily, we do get a chapter with his POV and you feel his pain. He hasn't always been there for Charlie but he has a plan. Of course he does, just when things are working out. Makes it hard to know who to pull for. View all 28 comments. This book was interesting. It is obviously not for people who have a cheating trigger.

However, I will say that there was extra drama added that I didnt think was needed aka Blake surprise. Overall, I would give it 4 stars. Mar 10, Dilek VT marked it as to-read Shelves: married-woman , love-triangle. There is a very painful love triangle in this book.

what my husband doesnt know the cheating chronicles book 1 Manual

View all 11 comments. Holy moly, I am so freaking twisted up after reading this book. I love anything that makes me FEEL THINGS while I read, anything that rips at my heartstrings, that creates a tug of war in my mind and, love them or hate them, that's what a good love triangle guarantees. Kandi Steiner creates a wholly immersive, heartbreaking scenario with What He Doesn't Know and the Holy moly, I am so freaking twisted up after reading this book. Kandi Steiner creates a wholly immersive, heartbreaking scenario with What He Doesn't Know and the reader can't help but be swept away in Charlie's battle between two men who both hold keys to her heart.

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I'll say it again, I love a good love triangle. Cameron--What can I say, I'm like a moth to a flame for a man who keeps the heroine at arms length, who hurts her without reason but who has potential to redeem himself. I longed to understand what was happening in his mind, why he grew so distant. And I think the romantic in me that craves seeing a stoic, removed man brought to his knees is what kept me silently rooting for him to fight for what was his.

But Reese--the forbidden fruit from Charlie's youth who's just come home and brought her life full circle. Well, I couldn't help but root for him in this situation too. He is devoted and charming and sweet and he's everything I should want for Charlie. He's everything I wouldn't blame Charlie for wanting for herself. He's everything good and warm and fulfilling for a woman who's been emotionally neglected and he's exactly why I was fully connected to the torturous tug-of-war going on in Charlie's heart.

My heart feels battered and bruised after reading this book. This brutality, this frustration, this unbelievably heart wrenching turmoil demands that the reader feel just as torn as our girl. Addicted to the heartache. Addicted to the war. Addicted to both of these men and completely consumed by them both. I could not get enough.

I couldn't get enough of these men and the starkly different ways they love. I was as lost in this storyline as I was in her stunning words. I've only read a small handful of books from this author but this one takes the cake. This is a beauty, a torn and tattered beauty of a romance and knowing that it's only the beginning is so deliciously thrilling for me. The show has a similar tone. But ironically enough it failed to captivate me because of how weirdly sterile it all felt; how sexless, how unrepresentative of life and the people who live it. Perhaps this is partly due to the unfamiliar rhythms of international media, and some nuance lost in subtitled performances.

But even though I was reading the lines it still never felt like there was anything between them. Pingback: Monday, March 25, — Globeloafing. Although I thought it meant not fit in her life. I suddenly figured what it meant. And somewhat understand the struggles of having difficulties in making love with someon you love.

For odd reasons, but it did hurt to watch them both cheat on each other as they struggled with their sex life. And I wished they did. Everywhere l look, no explanation. Can someone simply explain why he could not fit into his wife. Chelsea — the condition she has is called vaginismus. The muscles of the vaginal wall spasm involuntarily, so she cannot accommodate penetration.

I think people should just tune in just to see the acting talent of Natsumi Ishibashi, I found her performance to be outstanding. The story did a good job of showing the struggles of two people trying to cope with a strange problem, and trying to answer the philosophical questions about sex and marriage. I give this show a thumbs up. It is one that can be treated. I believe that her condition was so odd to her that she felt extremely embarrassed by it.

In other cultures, any issues a woman has can be looked at a being her fault. I agree with Octavia. She seemed embarrassed about minor things, let alone a major situation like that. My wife is Asian and she has told me very difficult stories about how girls used to be treated. You saw her mother felt she had to apologize for having a damaged daughter. You saw in the story that her mother was basically throwing her away when she was a child.

Her husband, I know he cheated on her which was heartbreaking. But he was truly caring and loved her. Both are wonderful actors. I would like to see if they will go on with their lives in another 10 parts. I loved it. I stuck with the series hoping to see the light for her in the end, some influence of modern times or a glimpse of feminist thinking affecting her life as it has done for women in way less developed countries than Japan. But no.

Top 10 errant teenagers in fiction

Only acceptance, resignation, shame. Did love win? Was that the message? Sex is not love? Love is not sex? Kumiko came out of this story as weak as she came in. She wanted sexual penetration, she wanted children, she wanted a career. In my opinion, her actions in avoiding issues and not solving her problems in bed or work are the greatest cautionary tale for women. I totally agree. I stumbled on this series as it flashed up on my Netflix. I thought it was good. I like being able to see how other cultures different to mine deal with marriage issues.

I guess if they were honest with each other, the result would have been different. Is that right? I am so confused on why 1. How was she able to have sex with other men.. It was possibly a psychological thing. Not even his name because of her thoughts about gossip and interconnections. The couple is sweet, and I believe they do love each other.